July 1, 1995
ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,075
Extreme Championship Wrestling always took pride in being radically different from the way mainstream pro wrestling was at the time. Yet if shows like Hardcore Heaven 1995 prove anything, it’s that different didn’t always mean better.
Notably omitting talented wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero and Dean Malenko from the card in favor of heavy focus on the whole Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven storyline the show proved to be a long and largely dull watch with little in the way of genuine entertainment.
On that cheery note, let’s head down to Philly and review this one, shall we?
Welcome to Hardcore Heaven 1995
Hardcore Heaven ’95 began with a cold open on the menacing yet also ridiculous face of Big Dick Dudley.
Tonight, he led an early incarnation of the famed Dudley family into tonight’s opening contest, a battle against Raven’s henchmen, The Pitbulls.
The Dudley Boys (Little Snot Dudley & Dudley Dudley w/ Big Dick Dudley) vs. The Pit bulls (Pittbull #1 & #2 w/ Beulah McGillicutty & ECW Tag Team Champions Raven & Stevie Richards)
It was not a good time for Big Dick’s boys, especially Little Snot Dudley. The hapless grappled spent the majority of this decent opening contest getting decimated by the ever-dominant Pitbulls.
Dudley Dudley faired a little better, going toe-to-toe with the Pitbulls and even getting the upper hand for his team. Yet as soon as Little Snot re-entered the fray, he immediately squandered the advantage his partner has gained by missing an elbow drop and going right back to getting his ass kicked.
For all intents and purposes, this looked set to be another one of those full-on, brutal Pittbull squashes that made Gary Wolfe and Anthony Durante so fun to watch.
Then, something happened.
As commentator Joey Styles questioned whether The Pittbulls were happy doing all the work while Stevie Richards and Raven got to be tag champs, Richards found himself distracted by an admirer of his sitting at ringside.
The girl, who we’d all eventually know much better as Francine, began making out with Richards. Clearly, this did not sit well with Beulah McGullicutty, who began to attack the mysterious woman. Joey Styles‘ excited cries of ‘CAT FIGHT!‘ were short-lived, however, as Raven grabbed both Stevie and Beulah by the hair and dragged them backstage.
Back in the ring, The Pittbulls looked to have the match won, but with #1 distracted by the outside fracas, Dudley Dudley broke up #2’s pin attempt on Little Snot with a top rope elbow.
Dudley then threw his partner atop #2, the referee counted to three, and the upset was in.
Your Winners: The Dudley Boys
After the bell, The Pittbulls gave a very angry interview to Joey Styles, expressing their disdain towards Raven & Richards for leaving them high and dry.
The two had had enough and promised that things were about to change.
The Broad Street Bully & Chad Austin vs.Dino Sendoff & Don E. Allen
From this writer’s perspective, our second tag bout of the evening didn’t seem all that offensive. OK, so it didn’t exactly have all the makings of a classic, but I’ve seen much, much worse.
From the fans’ perspective, however, this was the drizzling s**ts.
The audience dumped all over every second of this, and they weren’t the only ones. Even Joey Styles told us that the match was so bad that it would probably never air. In fact, he went so far as to jokingly pretend we were watching WCW Slamboree to save ECW the embarrassment of being associated with such a terrible match.
Of course, he soon changed his time when Paul E. Dangerously arrived on the scene, bringing 911 to the ring to chokeslam the bejebus out of all four men.
No Contest
Dangerously soaked up the adulation of the ECW faithful before taking to the microphone and issuing a passionate ‘WELCOMEEC-F***ING–W‘ to Austin & Sendoff as 911 gave them another chokeslam.
All the while, Dangerously’s nemesis, Bill Alfonso, lurked nervously by the entrance.
Big Val Puccio vs. Hack Meyers
It occurred to me recently just how little Hack Meyers features in conversations about ECW.
He may not have been a headline attraction, but the ‘Shah of ECW’ was certainly a popular one during the company’s early 90s rise to prominence and, as we approach 10 years since his passing, I hope reviews like this can help sustain the memory of a guy who always had the notoriously cynical ECW fans rooting for him.
Those fans were firmly behind him again tonight as he stepped up and got battered down by Big Val Puccio. The ring announcer actually introduced Meyers’ opponent as. ‘Big Malley,’ but since Styles called him Big Val Puccio, that’s what I’ll call him too.
Whatever he may have been officially called, the ECW fans only had one name for him:
‘You Fat F**k!’
They shouted this over and over as Val used his big ol’ belly as a deadly weapon to flatten Meyers.
To his credit, Puccio heeled it up beautifully, occasionally stepping away from belly bashing Meyers to jaw with the audience and fire them up even more.
When they weren’t giving it to Puccio with both barrels, the audience was, of course, chanting ‘Shah! Shah! Shah!’ every time Meyers went on the offesne, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from receiving one big fat splash after the next.
It looked as if there was no way Meyers could come back from this and, to be fair, there wasn’t.
There was, however, a brief moment when he managed to roll out of the way of a Big Val elbow drop, throw his arm over his opponent’s chest, and win the match.
Your Winner: Hack Meyers
Post-match, Puccio continued to obliterate The Shah until officials convinced him to leave.
Taz (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) vs. 2 Cold Scorpio
Unsurprisingly, this was the best match on the show so far and it wasn’t even close.
Sticking it to his rival, 2 Cold Scorpio wore orange and black attire as he went up against Taz, the man most synonymous with those colors. The two kicked things off in explosive fashion, a fast and furious back-and-forth battle that showed no signs of slowing down until Taz hit Scorpio with an enormous suplex that sent the future Flash Funk crashing out of the ring.
Clambering back between the ropes, Scorpio managed to gain the advantage, wearing down his opponent and finally planting him with an impressive Tumbleweed from the top rope.
Instead of going for the cover, however, 2 Cold opted to strut his funky stuff in premature celebration. That gave Taz the opportunity to pop up, destroy his adversary with a huge Tazmission suplex, and go for the pin.
Scorpio got his foot on the rope at two, but the referee didn’t see it and awarded the match to Taz.
That brought out Bill Alfonso, who declared that he was restarting the match and that there was nothing anybody could do about it because he would shut the whole show down should any wrestler dare to touch him.
‘Yeah? Well I’m not a wrestler,’ said Paul E., ‘And I’m going to kick your f**king ass!’
Before Dangerously could make good on his word, Scorpio attacked Taz from behind with a chair. This distracted Paul long enough for Fonzy to hit him from behind. d 2 Cold hit Taz with a chair-assisted tumbleweed, made the cover, and Fonzy counted the fall.
Your Winner: 2 Cold Scorpio
Up next, Shane Douglas arrived on the scene for an interview with Joey Styles about his imminent departure to the World Wrestling Federation.
Look, I’ve given Douglas a lot of flack on this blog for making ‘Guy Who Hares Ric Flair Even Though Flair Never Acknowledges Him’ his entire gimmick.
To be fair, I stand by that, but, now that I’ve watched his. Early WCW run and first go-around in the land of extreme, I have to admit:
The guy was a heck of a talent.
So it seems unfortunate that not only was he on his way to a horrible run with Vince, but also that his last night in ECW involved an excessively long promo that eventually became painful to watch.
Sure, it started well.
The Franchise was his ever-arrogant self as he began to cut a compelling promo confirming that, yes, he’d been in talks with McMahon, and, yes, he was on his way out of ECW.
If he’d left it at that, I’d have nothing but good things to say about this segment. Instead,he carried on and on, going over the exact same points without actually revealing anything interesting, and, and what point, lashing out at journalists without giving a clear reason why.
Eventually, Shane’s former manager, Woman, arrived on the scene, encouraging him nit to leave ECW but rather stay and join her and The Sandman.
In response, Douglas complimented Woman’s natural beauty (prompting a hilarious ’ Shane’s got a woody!’ Chant from the crowd) but ultimately refused.
Finally, the whole thing came to a head with Woman slapping her former charge and Shane looking like he might retaliate until The Sandman came down and attacked him.
Cactus Jack ran in to save his best friend but, in an interesting note, Douglas made his way to the back, seemingly oblivious to Cactus offering him a handshake.
If this segment had been about half as long as it was, it would have been much more enjoyable.
Sure, it started and ended well, but there was a whole long stretch in the middle that dragged on and achieved nothing.
Extreme Championship Wrestling World Tag Tag. Championship
ECW Tag Team Champions Raven & Stevie Richards (w/ Beulah McGuillicutty) vs. Tommy Dreamer & Luna Vachon
You may recall that Luna Vachon had made her ECW debut back in June ’95 at the Barbed Wire, Hoodies, and Chokeslams event where she came to Tommy Dreamer’s aid in his battle with Raven.
Since then, Raven & Richards had captured the tag gold and that was a good enough excuse for a match.
The champs went on the offense quickly, Raven demolishing Dreamer on the outside while Richards handled Vachon inside the ring.
The tides eventually turned. Dreamer planted Raven within a DDT on the concrete floor then turned to help his Luna. With Dreamer holding Stevie in place, Vachon grabbed him by the crotch and began trying to rip his bollocks off.
It was her one and only offensive move in the first half of what was mostly a messy and unexceptional match.
We spent most of our time watching Raven and Dreamer hitting each other with a newspaper box up by the entrance, occasionally cutting back to see Stevie clobbering away on Vachon.
Very little of this was entertaining, and when Richards pinned Luna after Beulah threw powder in her eyes, I was just glad it was over.
Your Winners and still ECW Tag Team Champions: Raven & Stevie Richards
Up next….another Rotten Brothers Bloodbath. Ugh. Shoot me now.
Tapaei Death Match
Ian Rotten vs. Axl Rotten
There was a moment early on here when Bill Alfonso temporarily became my all-time hero.
The official had debuted in ECW was a representative of the State Athletic Commission, there to enforce the rules and keep things from getting out of hand.
Of course, enforcing the rules was the complete antithesis of everything ECW stood for, so this naturally made Fonzy a very unlikeable heel who was a constant thorn in the side of ECW Commissioner, Todd Gordon.
Tonight, Gordon looked to get his revenge on Alfonso by making the rule-loving referee the designated official in this Tapaei Death Match, a contest which, by its very nature, had no rules.
Still, Fonzy found a way to spoil the fun for the bloodthirsty ECW faithful.
As soon as Axl hit Ian in the face with a taped fist wrapped in glass, Fonzy declared that the resulting blood had impaired Ian’s vision too much for him to continue and, thus, the match was over.
‘Hoorah,’ I thought. ‘I won’t have to sit through another one of these terrible Rotten Boys garbagefests after all!‘
Ladies and gentlemen, I was wrong.
At that point, a brawl between headliners Public Enemy & The Gangstas broke out by the entrance and Fonzy left to deal with that.
With Bill gone, Gordon ordered the match to resume, and resume it did, immediately becoming the exact same Ian vs. Axl match I’ve already seen a thousand times and never enjoyed once.
I usually try to avoid being so blunt in these reviews, but this sucked just like the 500 other Rotten Boys matches that came before it had sucked and at this point, I honestly didn’t give a shit about any of it.
Your Winner: Axl Rotten
With the ring cleared, Raven and Richards reappeared, brawling with Dreamer and Vachon.
The heels got the advantage and took out their arrivals just as The Pitbulls turned up.
Richards was eager to see them demolish Luna with the Super Bomb. When they refused, Raven smashed Pitbull #2 with a chair and the brawl resumed, this time with The Pitbulls joining in against Raven and Richards and The Dudleys coming out to level the playing field for the heel side of things.
This all took us to the back of the arena where we saw that the wall separating g the arena from the backstage area had been demolished as a result of all this mindless violence.
Anyway, this all ended with the baby faces standing tall, The Pitbulls raising Luna Vachon aloft on their shoulders.
This whole crazy brawl was more entertaining than the earlier tag title match, though not by much.
Extreme Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship
ECW World Heavyweight Champion The Sandman (w/ Woman) vs. Cactus Jack
There was a point early in this world title match when Sandman launched himself over the top rope and landed on his feet, nailing Cactus with a Singapore cane on his way down.
It was a genuinely exciting moment that served as the only real highlight of an otherwise underwhelming match.
With Sandy wielding his trusty cane and Jack wrapping barbed wire around his arm, what we got was a weapons-based brawl that didn’t really live up to its potential.
Back and forth they went until the referee got bumped, allowing Shane Douglas to run in.
While ref bumps are a common storytelling device in pro wrestling, it really wasn’t needed here.
What? Cactus and Sandman can hit each other with canes and barbed wire and chairs and goodness knows what, but Shane Douglas can’t do a run-in?
If you’re going to ignore the rules, at least be consistent about it.
Anyway, Douglas attacked both champ and challenger, then dumped Sandman on top of Cactus for the match-winning fall.
Your Winner and Still ECW Champion: The Sandman
Afterward, Douglas agreed to stay in ECW if Todd Gordon would get on his knees and beg him to do so. Instead, the ECW commissioner promptly fired Douglas, so The Franchise decked him and ripped off his clothes.
Finally, 911 turned up to chokeslam Dean Douglas right out of ECW and into an Ill-fated run with the World Wrestling Federation.
The Gangstas (New Jack & Mustafa Saed) vs. The Public Enemy (‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock & Johnny Grunge)
Much like the Rotten brothers we’d seen earlier, it’s perhaps fair to say that once you’ve seen one Public Enemy match in ECW, you’ve seen them all.
This was barely any different than the countless other bouts I’ve seen where Flyboy Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge essentially try to divide and conquer, Grunge staying in the ring to trade weapon shots with one opponent (in this case, New Jack) while Rock heads to the stands to trade table spots with the other (here, Mustafa Saed).
Eventually -predictably- Rock and Ali finally made it back to the ring where all four men continued to wail at each other with a bunch of stuff.
Grunge attacked with a mailbox adorned with the words ’EAT SH*T.’ A computer keyboard with the initials of 90s message board RSPW written on the back came into play. There was a croquet mallet, and, of course, there were a lot of tables.
If you like seeing guys just randomly hitting each other with stuff for ages, this. Arch is for you.
If you like good pro wrestling, it’s not.
The match was a long, boring garbage fest devoid of excitement that mercifully ended when Grunge came off the top and hit Ali with the croquet mallet.
Your Winners: Public Enemy
Afterward, the two teams continued to brawl to the back. Public Enemy then returned, inviting the fans to swarm the ring and celebrate with them as Hardcore Heaven ‘95 came to an end.
ECW Hardcore Heaven ’95: Final Thoughts
The problem with reviewing these ECW shows 20 years after the fact is that it’s sometimes hard to tell if the show was good at the time and has simply aged badly, or if it sucked at the time and still sucks now.
Honestly, I think Hardcire Heaven ‘95 is the latter.
Onlly Scorpio/Tazz was any good, and even that wasn’t exactly must-see TV. Everything else was either too long, too uninspired or too much of the same-old, same-old hardcore garbage.
Til next time,
Thanks for reading..
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