PPV REVIEW – WWF – WRESTLEMANIA 12

The video was followed by the famous Wrestlemania theme, and a welcome from our hosts, Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler and Vince McMahon. 

Though it was saved from being a total snooze-fest thanks to the opening six-man melee and a couple of smashmouth exchanges between Vader and Yoko, the majority of the match saw the heels beating mercilessly on Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts, much to the general apathy of the Anaheim faithful. 

With the victors making their way backstage, Vince and King began to hype up our next match, pitting Goldust and Roddy Piper. The match was billed as a Hollywood Backlot Brawl, but I swear to goodness that McMahon very clearly referred to it multiple times as a Hollywood Backlot Bra. 

With the benefit of hindsight (or perhaps its just old age cynicism), I’m willing to call this segment what it was; a mildly entertaining brawl which served as a nice change of pace from the evening’s in-ring action. 

A Word From Savio 

In a typically cheesy babyface promo that was still somehow strangely effective, Carribean Sensation Savio Vega spoke to Doc Hendrix about his joy at finally making it to Wrestlemania, and how the occasion was made all the sweeter by the opportunity to even the score with Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Stone Cold Steve Austin (w/ Ted Dibiase) vs. Savio Vega 

Tonight’s match finds the man who would go on to be the biggest star of the Attitude Era in a weird, transitional phase of his WWF tenure.

Despite dropping the  ‘Ringmaster’ moniker, in favour of the now-famous ‘Stone Cold’ tag and displaying early signs of the permanently-pissed-off attitude that would make him such a star, Austin was still accompanied by his old Ringmaster music, The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase as his manager, and the Million Dollar Championship.

It’s also worth noting that this was the better part of 18 months prior to being dropped on his head and changing his style to that of a brawler, meaning this version of Stone Cold Steve Austin could go with all the skill and agility displayed in his WCW heydey.

And man, did he go.

Though largely ignored given the remainder of his body of work, Austin’s Wrestlemania debut was nonetheless an impressive outing, taking the mediocre Vega through a fun little match before putting him out of his misery courtesy of the Million Dollar Dream.
Your Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin. 

What I didn’t mention during the above recap, was that during the bout, Vince McMahon managed to get hold of Roddy Piper on the phone as cameras showed us the WWF President chasing Goldust through the highways of California. Another clip of this was shown prior to our next interview.

Mr. Perfect Interviews Diesel

Back in the locker room, Mr. Perfect reminded Big Daddy Cool Diesel of his recent rivalry with The Undertaker. 

Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/ Sable) vs. The Ultimate Warrior 

Another debut next, as Sable made her first appearance on our screens on the arm of Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who was also putting in his first of many Wrestlemania appearances. 

No sir, that honour went to the highly anticipated return of The Ultimate Warrior, a man not seen on WWF telivision since before the 1992 Survivor Series.

In the opening seconds, Triple H got in his only bout of offence by drilling Warrior with a Pedigree, only for the former World and Intercontinental Champion to completely no-sell the move.

A few clobbering blows, clotheslines, and the inevitable Big Splash of Doom later, and that was all she wrote.
Your Winner: The Ultimate Warrior

The debuts continued next, as Sable’s real-life husband Marc Mero made his first WWF appearance in a promo with your mate and mine, Todd Pettingill. 

Mero’s promo was interrupted by an irate Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who first took out his frustrations by yelling at Sable, before turning his attention to the ‘Wild Man.’ A short brawl ensured, before we cut back to the roads of Anaheim, with Vince McMahon telling us that Goldust was on his way to the arena to see Marlena, and Roddy Piper was on his way to, well, presumably to beat the stuffing out of Goldie.

Big Daddy Cool Diesel vs. The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer 

And whilst this match wasn’t as good as his earlier encounters with Bret Hart and the aforementioned Heartbreak Kid, with both he and Undertaker playing to their strengths here, this was at least an entertaining battle of the big men.

After a ferocious brawl in the early moments, the match did admittedly slow down tremendously for a spell, though even then, Nash’s natural heel charisma and the fan’s unwavering devotion to The Phenom were enough to maintain this writer’s interest.

As you may expect, Big Daddy Cool controlled much of the contest, and, given the legend of The Streak, you don’t need me to tell you that The Dead Man eventually made a comeback, planting Diesel with a chokeslam and a rather wobbly Tombstone piledriver to pick up the win.
Your Winner: The Undertaker (5-0 at Wrestlemania)

Backstage, Todd Pettingill just happened to be conveniently watching Roddy Piper and Goldust’s big chase on the security monitors as the two men arrived at the arena.

Hollywood Backlot Brawl
Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Goldust (PART 2)

In the culmination of this unique match-that-wasn’t-really-a-match, Piper stalked Goldust through the backstage area and out to the ring. There, Goldust took the advantage, pummeling Piper into the corner, working over his leg, and eventually choking him out with Hot Rod’s own t-shirt.

“This one started in a Hollywood Backlot Bra,” McMahon reminded us on at least two occasions. Honestly, I started to wonder if Vince was making some kind of inside joke. It certainly makes more sense than the idea that the man who founded a sports entertainment empire couldn’t pronounce the word Brawl. 

Anyway, back to the action, and  the crowds firmly behind him, Piper eventually turned the tables, beating up on his adversary and stripping him of his gold suit, revealing that Goldie had been wearing stockings, suspenders, and a corset the whole time.

Sort of brings new meaning to the phrase backlot bra, doesn’t it?
Your Winner (sort of): Rowdy Roddy Piper 

With that out of the way, there was only one thing left on tonight’s show; an epic, hour-long showdown between two of the biggest stars of the 1990s.

Before we got to the action, we saw pre-taped interviews in which both champ and challenger appeared calm, focused and ready, each man separately agreeing that the only thing left to do was to make it happen.

World Wrestling Federation Championship 60 Minute Iron Man Match
WWF Champion Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart vs. ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ Shawn Michaels (w/ Jose Lothario)

Over the years, I’ve seen various people give mixed reviews of this epic main event, with some declaring it close to a full-on masterpiece and others deriding it as little more than a slow, long-winded, and not terribly exciting affair.

It’s fair to say I fall somewhere in the former camp. No, I don’t think this is a five star, grade A, perfect match, but I do admit to thoroughly enjoying it, even if I do wonder whether part of that enjoyment has to do with a certain nostalgia factor.

The moment that Shawn Michaels descends from the rafters on a zip line in a moment played literally thousands of times on WWE television since, a little chill of excitement rushed through my spine.